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Name: J Lee
Country: United States
State: Michigan
Metro: Ann Arbor
Gender: Male
Interests: My #1 interest is listening to music, and I like many kinds: Synthpop, dance, darkwave, gothic, alternative, modern rock, world beat, chill, rap, classical, praise & worship...and more!Topics I enjoy: Politics, religion, society & culture, travel, history
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
10/1/2004
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| Not only is this the end of a year, but it's the end of a decade. Every decade seems to have its own character and special events. Here is what I think of with some past decades (all of which I experienced...yes, I'm almost 50).
1960s: Major societal upheavals, protests, drugs, complete shake-up of things as they were, newfound decadence
1970s: It's all about ME. Self-help, serendipity, bell-bottoms, leisure suits, the Bicentennial, disco.
1980s: The greatest fashion era of my lifetime. Great colors and styles. Reaganesque optimism amidst the Cold War.
1990s: The worst fashion era of my lifetime, birth of the World Wide Web, even greater optimism with the Cold War being over and the economy continuing on like crazy.
I am a huge music fan, so I also think of decades in terms of music. Here's how I look at those.
1960s: A time of incredible creativity, with rock music developing from the simple rock'n'roll of the 1950s to all kinds of new styles--psychedelia, hard rock, acid rock, new styles of pop music, the Motown sound, bubblegum, and other delights.
1970s: Rock music became very serious during this decade. For Top 40, this was the worst decade EVER, producing the nastiest music ever known to modern popular music. At the end of the decade, disco reigned.
1980s: The birth of rap. The birth of MTV, and as a result, some new creativity. 1979-1983 was the second most creative 5-year period ever (1964-1968 would be #1). Music was fun in the 1980s.
1990s: Rap went to gangsta rap, techno and World Beat hit the scene, but grunge ruled not only in music but also in clothing style. Shoegazer music was at its height.
Look at those decades...all something memorable and something positive...but what about the '00s? Sometimes you have to be removed from a decade for awhile for its character to become apparent, but here's what I think of now:
--The decade of bitter, bitter political and societal discourse
--Terrorism
--Bad economy due to both the terrorist attacks of 9/11 and the banking disaster (the result of greed)
--The most BORING decade of music ever in my life. Boring is still better than repulsive, which pop music in the 1970s was, but come on, how can we go a whole decade without anyone having any interesting musical ideas?
I can't think of any positives for the '00s. Any help, anyone?
As for myself, the most striking thing about the '00s is how much I've changed. I read stuff I wrote in e-mails to my friends and family early this decade (the kind of stuff that is blog material, and which went to my blog when I started that in 2003), and I am really uncomfortable with it. Early this decade, I solidly identified with the Christian Right, and my rantings were full-scale battles in the Culture War. I wrote piece after piece of alarm about the decaying morals of our country, the way the secularists are taking away religious freedom and promoting the degradation of society.
I'm so not there anymore.
What changed? I suppose the biggest influence of the change has been my church. In 2001, I started attending a new church, and over time, the focus of the church has affected me. I wonder if I had not started attending that church, would I still be sounding the battle cry to fight in the Culture War? That's why my "official" blog is called "J Lee's Soapbox: Giving you my 2 cents' worth." I regularly blasted on and on about the insidious liberal left and secularists. Granted, I still get on my soapbox from time to time, but the way I say things now is a lot less combative. That's not a conscious attempt to control my language; I just don't FEEL so combative as I did.
So what is this effect of my church? Well, the pastor of the church, someone who came of age and became a Christian in the hippie generation here in the midwest hippie capital, has been increasingly outspoken about the harm a Culture War mentality causes. Rather than concentrating on the good news that Jesus brought, all the general public hears about is what Christians are against. He has done a lot to show the focus of Jesus and how little of it was about moral issues. He points out how morality without grace is a very severe outlook, and how the big moral issues of the Christian Right are ones that most people making all the noise about will not themselves have to deal with. He also works to soften certainty and an us vs. them mentality. How can you be so sure you're right that you can go around barking to others, "This is how it is!" We are called to follow a person, Jesus Christ, and not some moral code. Each person must give an account for his own relationship with God and obedience to him; the focus should be on drawing others to their own relationship with God. Harping on Culture War issues doesn't accomplish that.
To learn more about what my pastor is focusing on, you can read his blog. To learn more about the changes I've been going through in my approach to Christianity, see the article on my website, "Identity Crisis Of An Evangelical". Also on the website are my articles "The End Of The Christian Right" and my evaluation of how the church is changing in "The Next Reformation". All of these reflect the significant changes I've gone through during this decade, such that I now can hardly deal with reading my own rants from early this decade.
And that's been the biggest thing about this decade for me personally: A gradual but clear shift in my focus. This shift has resulted in me no longer being solidly in the conservative camp, though most of my views are still probably in the Social Conservative realm. The difference now is that I am not so hard about those views; I am more open to other interpretations of Christianity.
I don't feel like the same person I was at the beginning of this decade. I guess in general that's a good thing; you don't want to be a person who never develops. But I'm rather surprised where that has all gone. | | |
| I've been reading on Facebook all my friends' comments about 2009, and it seems pretty universal that 2009 was not a good year for anyone. It seems like everyone had financial issues, major medical problems, deaths in the family, or a combination of the above. Two of my friends from college had cancer; one was cured with an operation, but the other has been fighting very serious cancer all year with chemotherapy, operations, and severe sickness. Other friends had surgery or their spouses or parents had surgery. Others had parents or other relatives who died. And many are out of work or can't find adequate work. One guy at my church has been applying for 50 jobs a week for months, and hasn't even gotten interviews. Another was unemployed for a whole year before finally managing to land a part-time job. I have many friends who are unemployed...most of them are in their 20s or 30s. 2009 seems to be a year of shared misery.
2009 was not a good year for me, either, although it wasn't the worst year. 2003 and 2004 were among of the worst years of my life; 2009 wasn't that bad. But 2009 was not pleasant.
In August 2008, I lost my full-time job. My income in that job, which required a master's degree, was far below the national average salary for people with master's degrees. But not only that, it was well below the average salary of those who have BACHELOR'S degrees. That's the income of the full-time job I lost. Since then, I've only made about 1/3 of that!
Michigan's unemployment rate is over 15%. The county next to us, which is the Detroit metropolitan area, has had an unemployment rate in excess of 17%. Our county is better at 10%, but Ann Arbor is the fourth most educated city in the nation, so competing for jobs in a tight economy is very difficult for someone with only a master's degree. Master's degrees here are a dime a dozen. Friends of mine and a number of my customers have been post-doctoral research scholars.
When I first lost my job, I applied for a number of jobs, but didn't even get interviews. My field is teaching English as a second language...when I couldn't get anyone to hire me, I decided to teach on my own. I officially started my own business; I have a business name, logo and website; I have marketed in a number of ways for the past 12 months...yet I have no more students than I did at the beginning of this year, which is not enough to survive with. It is very, very discouraging. I have had to add in temporary part-time jobs to help fill in the financial gap, but even with everything combined, I'm at 1/3 the level I was when I had a full-time job. That's what I think of when I think of 2009.
Fortunately, my wife still has a full-time job at Northwest Airlines. But 2009 was rough for her, also, because she got melanoma, and was out of work for more than a month for the operation to remove that and the recovery. That was a bigger hit to our financial situation.
But there were bright sides to all of this. First of all, my wife's operation was successful and they were able to remove all identified traces of the melanoma, so she is completely healed now, with just a big scar. Thankfully, there were no other medical issues for her or for me, which is not only good in terms of well-being, but with medical costs as they are, it's also a blessing financially. With the changeover from Northwest to Delta, we're losing our wonderful Blue Cross Blue Shield coverage, and on January 1 it will be replaced by the dreadful United Health, so I had some evaluative services done in the last quarter of this year while it was more affordable and the insurance company was better. Those will cost money, too, but I should have them done anyway, and it was best to do them before we lost Blue Cross Blue Shield.
Another bright side is the wonderful way God provided for our needs. We don't know how we made it through this year without financial disaster. With such a huge drop in income, when we had nothing to spare before because of huge student loans and other debt, we feared being forced out of our home this year, but we are still in it. Our savings are now depleted, so that could happen in 2010, but at least so far, we are intact. When Michelle was out of work in July, we had no idea how we were going to make it. That month, I received a check in the mail for half of what we needed to make up for her salary. It was out of the blue. Many years ago, my mother's father died, and I had an inheritance that was due to me out of that. However, due to one person's anger about some family matters, it was all tied up in court for years. It was amazing that the time when the money was released was when we needed it so desperately. Sure, I'd rather put inheritance money in some kind of investment, but it would have been far worse not to have it at that point. The other half was a surprise gift from my parents, which really was a surprise because they are retired, it was a substantial amount, and like many American families, we stay out of each other's financial matters.
In the fall, when money was again so tight, the other people in my small group at church got together and gave me a grocery store gift card for $220. Later, another person from the group anonymously added a gift card of their own worth $100. These have been such a blessing because without these, I would have had to use credit to buy groceries a number of times, which is not good when you're already short of income...that just digs you deeper.
We've been trying to stay away from using credit as much as possible, and we've been so fortunate not to have needed car or house repairs during the year. This is another way I view God's provision for us.
Two weeks ago, someone broke into our house when I was home, and came into the bedroom when I was there. That was really scary. I am so grateful that I was not harmed, and that he ended up not taking anything. It was the third break-in attempt on our house in six months, but the first when they actually came all the way in. After three attempts and with one being a really close call, we are now doing things to beef up the security of our house. Unfortunately, this costs money we don't have, which means more debt, but safety is more important than money, I think. I still am often awakened by noises, wondering if it's someone else breaking in.
So, 2009 was a mixed bag. The long-term financial woes have been really stressful to deal with. While there was nothing about 2009 that I can think of that I would say, "Wow, that was a great event/a happy occasion," I am thankful for the blessings and protections from what could have been a much worse year. My wife's cancer was healed. I was not harmed in the break-in and nothing was stolen. Cars and house haven't needed repair. Unexpected and desperately needed money was received in gifts and part-time jobs. We are still in our home and don't have debt collectors hounding us with phone calls. So I am thankful for all those blessings amid the hardships.
Will 2010 be better? Nothing indicates it will be. It could even be worse. But Jesus said, "Don't worry about tomorrow--that won't make you live one day longer. Just deal with today." I plan to continue that frame of mind. He's sustained us so far, so I trust him to continue to sustain us. | | |
| I received a forwarded e-mail full of cries of fear and outrage, all about a stamp from the US Postal Service. It would be funny, except for the fact that flaming this kind of emotion does actual harm, I believe. It disturbed me so much that I decided to write a response and reply to ALL, everyone down the e-mail chain, to fight back. First I will show the e-mail I received and am referencing; following that is the response I wrote to the masses.
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THE FORWARDED E-MAIL:
USPS New 44-Cent (this year) Stamp!!! Celebrates Muslim holiday.
If there is only ONE thing you forward today... Let it be this!
REMEMBER the MUSLIM bombing of Pan Am Flight 103!
REMEMBER the MUSLIM bombing of the World Trade Center in 1993!
REMEMBER the MUSLIM bombing of the Marine Barracks in Lebanon !
REMEMBER the MUSLIM bombing of the military Barracks in Saudi Arabia!
REMEMBER the MUSLIM bombing of the American Embassies in Africa !
REMEMBER the MUSLIM bombing of the USS COLE!
REMEMBER the MUSLIM attack on 9/11/2001!
REMEMBER all the AMERICAN lives that were lost in those vicious MUSLIM attacks!
Now President Obama has directed the United States Postal Service to REMEMBER and HONOR the EID MUSLIM holiday season with a new commemorative 42 Cent First Class Holiday Postage Stamp.
REMEMBER to adamantly & vocally BOYCOTT this stamp, when you are purchasing your stamps at the post office.
All you have to say is "No thank you, I do not want that Muslim Stamp on my letters!"
To use this stamp would be a slap in the face to all those AMERICANS who died at the hands of those whom this stamp honors.
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MY RESPONSE:
I have been a recipient of the e-mail above, as you have, regarding a stamp the US Postal Service has released that highlights a Muslim holiday. I found this e-mail to be very disturbing, and I cannot remain silent; I must condemn this type of thinking being spread all over the web.
The problem with this message is that it conflates all of Islam into the practices of a minority of Muslims. Please stop and think about what this is doing.
Two Major Worldwide --and Diverse -- Religions
Like Christianity, Islam is a major worldwide religion. Let's start with Christianity, which I assume most of the recipients of this letter are familiar with. Within Christianity, you will find all sorts of religious practices, and all sorts of interpretations of Scripture, from the very liberal to the very conservative. You have the oldest traditions of Christianity found in the Catholic and Orthodox churches; within Protestantism, there are all kinds of beliefs and practices, ranging from the liberal end of the scale, where there are denominations such as the United Church of Christ that openly welcome gays and do not agree with prohibition of abortion, to those on the conservative end of the scale, where it is considered more holy to wear clothes that are 30 years or more out of fashion, where contemporary music is anathema, and in some denominations even instruments are prohibited in worship.
These are the established, accepted denominations within Christianity. Beyond that, there are the fringes. On the liberal edge, there are the Christian nudist camps and Christians who believe polyamory is acceptable; on the conservative edge, you get groups like the Ku Klux Klan who also consider their beliefs to be appropriate for Christians. Also, not really at the left or the right extreme are the practices, such as in the Caribbean and South America, where voodoo and tribal religious practices are intermixed with Catholicism. You see here a broad range of beliefs and practices within Christianity.
Islam, also being a major world religion, has similar differences. First of all, like Christians have Catholics and Protestants, Muslims have Sunni and Shiite. Just as Catholics and Protestants have been attacking each other in Northern Ireland, Sunni and Shiite have been attacking each other in other places. Just like there are Christians who mix tribal practices with Catholicism, there are Muslims who mix tribal practices with their religion, making an Islam that is as impure as the voodoo practices make Christianity impure. Then there are the liberals and conservatives -- there are the liberals in places like Turkey that are not that much into all the practices of Islam (but one thing even the most secular Muslim generally won't do is eat pork!), whereas you get the strong conservatives in places like Saudi Arabia who are very intent on keeping their religion pure, as Fundamental Christians are. Then, of course, you have the extremists.
Now, think about this: How would you like people who are not Christians to judge Christians based on the actions of the fundamentalist minority? How would you like others to equate you with the Ku Klux Klan, or people in Northern Ireland who kill others, just because they are Christians and so are you? In fact, doesn't this even happen now to some degree in society, if not to you specifically? What about the secularists who associate all religious people, including Christians, as warmongers, as they cite the Crusades, the Inquisition, and other violent acts of history carried out in the name of Christianity? Isn't your first reaction to say, "Hey, they weren't following the example of Jesus; they twisted the Gospel!"
This is exactly what the Muslims feel like. The actions of a minority of Muslims, the extremists, are being projected onto all Muslims by many people, and this is not fair. I watch on the news as Pakistanis who have been bombed by the Taliban cry out, "How can they do this? This is not what Islam is about! They are not acting as a Muslim should!"
The real enemy that we are dealing with is EXTREMISM, not Muslims. And extremists are not unique to Islam. In India, Hindu extremists are burning churches and homes of Christians, beating people, and raping women. In Sri Lanka, Buddhist extremists are also carrying violent acts out against Christians. In Ethiopia and Eritrea, evangelical Christians are being jailed and tortured by the Orthodox Church!! I beg you, do not conflate extremism with Islam. There are extremists in every religion, and no matter what the religion, the extremists are violent and hateful of others. And no matter what the religion, the mainstream within the religion consider the extremists to be not acting out the tenets of their religion accurately.
Response of Evangelical Christians
Now, let me take this down to a more practical level. First, I am going to speak to the evangelical Christians who are receiving this. How did Jesus bridge the gap to those on the outside? Did he do it by condemning, or by showing love? When we rattle off all the attacks made on us by extremists as if that's something any Muslim would do, we are hardening the hearts of Muslims and making it that much more difficult for them to be open to the gospel.
Listen to this story from Leila, who grew up in a strict Muslim country.
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"My father is a true Muslim," Leila began. Like the vast majority of children in her country, she was entrenched in Islam from a very early age. "When I was seven, my dad encouraged me to fast for all of Ramadan," she recalls. "I was hungry every day but I managed to complete the whole month. My dad was very happy, and I believed God would reward me."
But it wasn't long before Leila became disillusioned. "Soon I stopped praying regularly, and I would often argue with my father about this." Leila's father was also stern in his opinion of Christians. "We grew up with the idea that Christians were infidels and polytheists, not worthy of our friendship," she shared.
As Leila entered her teenage years, her prejudices began to be shaken. "When I was 13, a girl named Marcella sat beside me at school. At first I was shocked to share a desk with an infidel Christian. But as I got to know her, I found myself fascinated! I still remember her beaming face and her tender kindness to me. Then one day Marcella was looking for something in her bag," Leila continues. "She took all her books out, including her Bible. I was so curious! I picked it up and eagerly began to scan the pages. My eyes fell on some words about Jesus. It was the first time I had ever heard his name. I went home with a deep longing to get a Bible and find out more about this Jesus."
(from Frontline Faith, Nov. 2009)
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Remember the song, "They'll know we are Christians by our love"? It was Marcella's love and acceptance of her Muslim friend that opened up Leila's heart to Jesus. Had Marcella taken a hostile stance toward Leila, like the hostile stance in the e-mail below toward Muslims in general and a simple stamp, Leila would have remained convinced that there was no reason to associate with Christians. We don't carry the light of the gospel by bashing all Muslims because of the atrocities of a few. We don't make a big deal about a little stamp the post office issues if we want to bring the gospel to Muslims.
I have taught English as a Second Language for 12 years, and throughout the years I have had many Muslim students. I have found the average Muslim to be every bit as kind and gentle as the average non-Muslim. In fact, I like having Muslims in my class because they are very open about their religion, and since they bring it up, it gives me an opportunity to share the gospel. The East Asians, Europeans, and South Americans rarely bring up religion, and when they do, it's usually with a negative or apathetic perspective. The Muslims, on the other hand, are open about praying, fasting, and devotion to Allah. Their practices challenge me to pray more and to make my faith more central to my life. I've enjoyed discussing aspects of Christianity and Islam with them.
What if I took the attitude of the e-mail below toward these Muslims? It would sour their attitude toward Christians, and make it harder for them to receive the gospel. It is not right for Christians to carry on like this, putting all Muslims in the same camp with terrorists. Besides being factually distorted, more importantly, it is harmful to the gospel to treat people like this.
To Those Who Don't Identify With Christianity
If there are any receiving this e-mail who do not associate themselves with Christianity, or at least evangelical Christianity, such that the above section has no meaning to you, let me point out something else. (This is also an important point for Christians.) While religion is a strong influencer on how people act, culture is also. In fact, I think in many instances, culture has more influence on people than religion; they interpret their religion through the eyes of their culture.
Look at Muslims born and raised in America. By and large, they hold American ideals of freedom of religion, freedom of speech, and the acceptance of all citizens as being equal. Compare that to Muslims born in, say, Saudi Arabia, a theocracy, where the most important thing is making sure everyone obeys Islam; freedom of religion and speech are not considered important at all. Christians in African nations tend to view the male as supreme over the female, but in North America and Europe, women are seen as more equal. The Bible is probably closer to the African practice, but North American & European Christians live in a culture where women are considered equal, so they tend to operate within Christianity that way too. The culture tends to trump the religion.
If we fully accept Muslims into our daily life and culture, there is little reason for them to become extremist. Remember once again, extremism runs across religions. Look at any religious extremists, and where does their motivation come from? Fear. They fear their cherished ways will be exterminated or at least diluted. Extremists Hindus hate Christians because the equality views of Christianity are in opposition to the caste system; they fear the spread of Christianity will dilute or eliminate their cherished caste system. If we alienate Muslims in this country, and try to stamp out their religious practices, this will cause a fear of dilution or elimination of their way of life. That fear will bring rise to extremism.
Look at Europe. Extremism in Islam is much more prevalent there than here because Muslims are marginalized into ghettos and treated as second-class citizens. It is a recipe for extremism, as well as crime and other troubles. We don't have those problems here precisely because Muslims have been treated equally, according to American tradition.
Some Clarifications
Before I end this, I want to make some clarifications. First of all, there are Muslims who claim that "Islam means peace." That's baloney. Islam means "submission to God." They don't know their own religion if they say that, or they're desperate to affect the image of their religion, I don't know what.
Secondly, I am well aware that Islam has a history of violence unlike that of Christianity. I don't mean Christianity doesn't have violence in its history; I mean that the way Christian violence is viewed throughout the majority of Christianity is different from the way Muslim violence is viewed throughout the majority of Islam. It begins with the founders: Jesus wanted to establish a spiritual kingdom, for which violence was of no use; Mohammed took a forceful approach to establishing pure religion. Down to this day, there is a much higher degree of violence from Muslims toward "infidels" than there is among Christians, Hindus or Buddhists toward outsiders, for example. This is particularly true for anyone who was Muslim and converts to Christianity--in the worst countries, the person is marked for death by their family members; even in this country, a convert may fear physical harm.
So, in writing this letter, I am not romanticizing and glossing over the dark side of Islam. All I am trying to say is, don't paint everybody with the same black brush. There is something about Islam that unfortunately makes extremism easier to grow than there is in Christianity, for example, but it's not fair to paint all Muslims as extremists or terrorists, or to reject everything Muslim -- even a stamp acknowledging their holidays -- just because of a terrorist minority.
Finally, I realize that as Islam grows in this country, there will be issues to deal with, as there has been in Europe. As long as Muslims are really in the minority, there isn't much of any problem, but once conservative Muslims become a sizable minority, then they look for increased accommodation. For example, in Europe there have been requests of schools to ban music, make others dress a certain way, etc. As the Muslim population grows (and it will--they are having children at a much greater rate than Christians and secularists), we will have to work out issues like this. But I contend that the more we accept Muslims into mainstream society, the more liberal they will be, which would result in less of such demands than what is happening in Europe, where their isolation is breeding conservatism at best, extremism at worst.
EID and the stamp
Do you know what Eid ul-Fitr is? It is the feast that celebrates the end of Ramadan. Ramadan is a 30-day fast; during this time Muslims cannot eat or drink anything from sunrise to sunset. After 30 days of that, it's time for a great time of feasting, and that's what Eid ul-Fitr is. When these holidays occur is different every year, since they use a lunar calendar. (I once went to an Eid ul-Fitr feast...wow, so much delicious food!)
There is another Eid holiday, called Eid al-Adha. This one celebrates Abraham's willingness to sacrifice his son. (Of course, in Islam, they believe this happened with Ishmael, not Isaac.)
Why do people consider a stamp acknowledging these holidays as such a threat? The post office has stamps for Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and Chinese New Year. Why is a stamp acknowledging the feasts of Muslims a threat to our nation? This is utterly ridiculous. They celebrate the end of a fast, and Abraham's obedience to God...how does this threaten our nation? This conflation of terrorism and all things Muslim must stop!!
Finally, the facts in the e-mail below are not entirely correct. For example, this stamp was first issued in 2001. Learn more about it at Snopes: http://www.snopes.com/politics/stamps/eidstamp.asp
Conclusion
I beg all of you, that you would put yourselves in the shoes of American Muslims. Think how you want your own religion, Christianity, to be revered and not ridiculed or scorned, and offer the same respect to Muslims for theirs. Defend them to others who unjustly bash all things Muslim. And most of all to the evangelical Christians receiving this, I beg you to remember, "They'll know we are Christians by our love." Jesus loves all people he created, and he calls us to love them too. By loving and accepting your fellow American Muslims, you can open their hearts to you, and possibly down the road, your faith.
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Considering that of the people I knew in the e-mail addresses most were very conservative, I wondered if I would get bashed in response. But the ones who responded were positive, with comments like "Thank you for a moment of rational sanity." The only non-positive comment I got was someone who said, "You use the name 'Christian' very loosely. Membership in a church does not a Christian make." I replied to this person, whom I don't know, that I was merely going by how people self-identify.
Anyway, this is what came about because a forwarded e-mail ticked me off. | | |
| I recently learned of a group of homeschool mothers who get together on Friday mornings for their kids to have classes together, about 20 kids in all. In one of the classes, they are covering the 20th century, doing one decade each week. My friend mentioned that they were including music from each decade, and knowing how big a music fan I am, asked me for suggestions for 1970s songs. Since I love to teach, and I love both music and history, I asked if I could present a session on 1970s music. I was given permission to do a half hour on 1970s music.
In preparing the class, I began to think of what the 1970s were like, and remembered how the decade started out with much debate about the death of rock'n'roll. Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, and Jim Morrison of The Doors all died of drug overdoses in 1970, plus The Beatles broke up in 1970. It seemed like rock'n'roll (which was only 16 years old at the time) might not survive.
In discussing the class with my friend (one of the mothers of the group), in passing I mentioned the above scenario, and she said, "Oh no, don't mention that. We don't discuss drugs or sex." I was taken aback. It was a little shocking for me, since at the time these things were happening, I was the age of the children I would be teaching. The kids in the class are 7 to 12 years old. I was 10 years old in 1970 and well aware of drug abuse and how many people were dying due to drug overdoses...sometimes by trying to fly out of windows. I wasn't going to go into any details in the class, and I didn't think that mentioning that some people died from drug overdoses would be forbidden, since it was a short simple message that drug abuse can kill you.
MY CONSERVATIVE (?) UPBRINGING
That got me to thinking about the sheltering of kids. I was raised in a conservative home. We children were not allowed to play cards--not even Rook--because cards were considered evil (related to gambling), and Rook was a lead-in to "real" cards. We were not allowed to say "substitute cusswords" like "darn" or "gosh" or "gee." And of course, movie theaters and dancing were forbidden completely. I was allowed to listen to the radio (except on Sundays), but my mother frequently expressed her displeasure over my doing so. If I wanted to buy any records, my parents had to approve of the lyrics beforehand. And I was not allowed to have candy cigarettes (though in some of my trips to the drug store I secretly bought them).
So I thought I was well-prepared to have a good sense of what was acceptable to the homeschool kids. But I guess I was allowed things that many children are not allowed today. For example, I watched the nightly news with my father every weeknight. (He liked the Huntley-Brinkley Report, not Walter Cronkite.) This was the 1960s...the Vietnam War was live on TV (and because that generated so much anti-war fervor, it was the last war the U.S. government allowed to be filmed live). I saw the battles night after night. It was the era of social unrest...I saw many protests. And of course, I saw the results of LSD trips.
I was crazy about the hippies. My mom was worried about that, yet my parents let me wear my hair long...all through elementary and junior high school, I had the second longest hair in school (of boys). I was fascinated by TV programs and movies that featured the life of hippies. I think my mother sometimes feared I would become a hippie and thus turn to drugs, but knowing how those people would fly out of windows to their death gave me no interest in drugs.
When I was a teenager, I decorated my room with black lighted psychedelic posters and often listened to Iron Butterfly and other acid rock. I wore leather vests with fringe, sandals, headbands, and jewelry like the hippies. But that was enough for me; I had no desire to leave home and join a commune. (Anyway, by that time, most of the communes had disintegrated.)
Some of my friends, though, were not allowed to listen to rock music at all, and were not allowed to wear long hair or anything remotely similar to the hippies. Some were not even allowed to listen to Christian rock because all rock was considered evil. So while I had a conservative upbringing, it was actually very reasonable compared to my peers.
Having grown up in a conservative church environment, I consider myself to be well aware of the issues that create controversy. However, I have never had children, so I guess that's an important missing ingredient to this current situation. Still, it makes me wonder, how sheltered should kids be?
SHELTERING: HEALTHY PROTECTION OR FOSTERING IGNORANCE?
It seems some children today are brought up being sheltered from significant parts of today's society, much more than when I was growing up. Part of this I understand. When I was a child, TV programs consisted of Andy Griffith, The Beverly Hillbillies, Gunsmoke, Bonanza, Lost In Space, I Dream Of Jeannie, Bewitched...this is TV Land fare that seems so quaint compared to today's programs. Also, when I went to public school, there wasn't the cultural divide that exists today. When I was in first grade, we prayed before lunch: "God is great, God is good, let us thank Him for this food." Divorce was rare. People were so much on the same page about raising kids that parents would think nothing of scolding the neighbor kids as they would their own. So in some ways, there wasn't as much to protect kids from as there is today.
Yet, it wasn't all a perfect world. As I mentioned, the 1960s was a time of social upheaval. Protests, even riots, often occurred--some related to the Vietnam War, some were race riots, others were student protests of various types. The women's liberation movement was boisterous. Experimentation with drugs was everywhere, even being touted as the way to higher consciousness. Eastern religions were popular. It was a wild time in many ways, yet there was no attempt to shield me from all this. (I'm not sure about other kids.)
But it seems today's conservative parents are so concerned about shielding their kids from knowing what's in the general culture. In addition, conservatism has gotten more narrow-minded. In my conservative Christian home, we were allowed to watch Bewitched, although it was pointed out that real witchcraft was not the innocent activity that that show portrayed. I have a feeling in conservative homes today, kids may not even be allowed to watch the show due to its witchcraft. When I was a kid, Halloween was never an issue for Christians, even though at that time, there was much vandalism involved, razor-blade-in-apple & poison-candy scares (we children were always instructed to inspect our candy wrappers for holes because stories were that some people injected drugs into the candy), and there were black cat sacrifices and such. As with anything in society, we children were taught to separate the good from the bad. But today, people make a big stink about Halloween and refuse to participate in it at all, instead having "Fall Festivals" at churches and depriving their children from going door to door trick or treating because "Halloween is evil." It seems separation and sheltering is the mode of operation, rather than instructing on discernment.
Today, homosexual marriage is a big issue...some parents try to prevent their children from even hearing anything about it at all. Abortion is a big issue...how old do such parents feel a child must be before they learn about it? Radical Islam is a major problem in the world, in terms of terrorism and affecting people within societies...do parents shield their children from these? And there are still the issues like alcoholism, gambling, profanity, drug abuse, and teen pregnancy that exist in society.
I'm not saying children should be robbed of childhood and have no sense of innocence and joy. But I don't feel I had any of my innocence of childhood robbed by knowing about the Vietnam War, the protests and riots, and the drugs. I still played with my Matchbox cars* and slept with my teddy bear. Well, my friends and I would play Combat (that was a TV war drama)--dress up in army helmets and have toy machine guns and go into the weeds and do battles...but that's normal boy stuff, I think. (*One of the things we'd play with Matchbox cars: Woodstock. We'd get all the cars together and have a big music stage and wild music festival. Woodstock happened when I was 9.)
I can't help but wonder what happens to children who are sheltered from what's going on in society when they do find out all this stuff. Is it shocking? Or is it just, "Hmm, I didn't know about any of this growing up." Does it require minimal adjustment, or does it disorient them? It seems to me that part of raising your children is teaching them how to interpret the world as they become aware of it. I don't know how you can do that if you shelter them from everything. | | |
| I was happy to learn on Saturday Night Live that the health care bill had passed just about an hour before they announced it. I was a little worried about the abortion bit, though. Today, however, I was delighted to learn that the abortion part was removed! YAY! I laud the House Democrats who refused to sign the bill unless the coverage for abortion was removed. Abortion is not health care; it's murder!!
On Saturday night, I put on my Facebook status that I was glad that the health care bill passed. I've been royally blasted by the people who think it's the end of America, people calling it "PelosiCare USSA", socialism, the ruination of our country, and all that. Here in Ann Arbor, the general sentiment seems to be very positive toward health care, but among my relatives and college friends scattered all over the country, they are livid about the bill passing.
I may not like everything the health care bill does, but at least SOMETHING has been done to break the dreadful status quo. But it seems the Senate is determined to destroy the most important part of the legislation, the public option. | | |
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